T.O.S.S and K.I.C.S

When it comes to shopping, I subscribe to every one of the clichés and stereotypes. I do not like it at all. It is not that I am against buying stuff - by all means, buy. Spending money of stuff seems to be a pretty logically conclusion for all the time spent at work. But shopping is not buying.

I know, you know all this. But what precisely in the process of shopping made it so unbearable. It couldn't just be the lack of a purchase. I decided to investigate, and by careful measurements of my blood pressure during the many shopping trips devised by the significant other, I believe I have the answer - the twin syndromes of KICS & TOSS.

K.I.C.S - Kid in Candy Store Syndrome. This is the first reason I dislike shopping trips organized by the significant other. Shopping tends to be disorganized, random, driven by an effusion of emotive exclamations. "Ooh look at that, isn't that nice?" "Oh my God, who would ever buy that?". In other words, like a kid in a candy store.

Shopping, unlike buying, brings out the kid in the significant other. Any semblance of a plan disappears as soon as the we take the first breath of industrial controlled air. Instead we seem follow the rough path taken by a bee as it searches for honey. And in place of the sweet nectar, we seem to be searching for, well, nothing. Sometimes it is a bright color, other times it is a sale tag. A bee has a better chance of finding blooming flower in the dead of winter, than our shopping party of finding a buy. Everything looks great, and nothing worth buying.

Now imagine we find something that looks good and is worth buying. The shopping trip shows a budding promise of turning into a successful buying trip. That is when the second syndrome kicks in.

TOSS - The Other Store Syndrome. The S.O. is convinced that the same items is available, cheaper or better quality or both in another store.

Before we know it we are shuttling back and forth between stores. The TOSS syndrome has successfully taken over, standing firmly between shopping and buying.

There was a time when shopping was synonyms with buying. Not today. In the age of infinite choice, the twin syndromes of KICS and TOSS conspire to keep any shopping trip from turning into a successful buying trip.